Wednesday, March 30, 2011

It's That Time of the Month Around Our House

From months ago...aka "the last time THAT happened."  Argggggh!
Sunnnnyyyyyy beeeeeeaaaaaches.
It’s been one heck of a day.  Not even kidding. I could tell you about Elder Son missing the last flight to Wyoming….no.  My breakfast order or 20 people, cancelling on me less than 30 minutes prior to delivery?  Nah.  Okay, I think I’ll tell you about my contractor subcontractor’s mishap…not even.  My customer lunch and learn cancelling?  Just a day in the life, right?
Okay.  Guess I’ll expound on the never boring adventures of the WonderDogs. 
This morning, I’m getting ready, out of the shower, about to dry my hair.  It’s about 6:20 a.m. The dogs ask to go out.   As is our norm, I go out to the “almost oasis” of a back yard.  (I love it in the morning!)  I sit down on the porch, grab a water bottle, settle down to enjoy the beautiful morning, and let them do their business.
 I’m soon to discover that it’s not to be that kind of morning.  Zanna’s in the last stages of her heat cycle.  ThatManILove and I have been in some serious discussions this week as to whether or not to breed Zanna, or to get her fixed. Let me take one second to note that TMIL has NOT been in town except on weekends during the last three weeks.   I’ve been dealing with this heat cycle, the diapers, the panties, all that drill.  It’s making me crazy.  ThatManILove doesn’t want her stout championed bloodline to end; I, on the other hand, could care less about menstrual cycles any more, much less my Zanna’s.   Whatever romantic vision I had about being an awesome breeder of champion German Shorthairs has this very week faded away in a fluff of shredded cotton and denim.  Zanna’s gone through more panty liners, doggie diapers, and puppy panties in three weeks than any woman I’ve ever known (however, that may be because most women I know don’t eat their sanitary products).  I’m ready to put this madness to an end.  Zack’s interest in her is at…well, let’s just say he’s peaked this morning.  I’m not worried, though, because 3 years ago, we made him a sports model.  Yup, we had him fixed.
I’m relaxing, drinking a glass of water, and all of a sudden, Zack starts acting kind of aggressive towards Zanna.  And she’s, ummm….letting him.  The little wench is even coming on to him.  She’s flirting.  And before I can say “You don’t have the stuff anymore, cowboy, don’t even think about it!” , Zack has mounted Zanna.  Oh, yes, he has. You’ve heard “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up?”  Well, he’s mounted,  and he can’t get down.  Or she can’t get loose.  Or something.
I scream at him.  Totally ineffective.
I run get the water hose.  Same result.
I call ThatManILove.  He doesn’t answer his cellphone.
So, I do what most warm-blooded over-intelligent females who are seeking answers to such a dilemma do.  I run to the door, go inside, shut the back door so I don’t have to watch them do the dirty deed anymore, and go ask Mr. Google what the heck to do.
Turns out the first two things, screaming and water, only make situations such as this, worse.  (Don’t say I never taught you anything.)
After I read the article twice, I decide to venture to the back door to peek out and see how things are hanging.  Whew!  They’re apart.  Zanna’s giving me that, “Gee thanks, oh you human protector of all four legged things  – you suck at this” look.  I, in turn, am glaring at Zack, thinking, “You RAPIST!”  I hustle them both into the house and kennel Zanna, pronto.
Then, and only then, does ThatManILove call.
“Hey, babe, did you need something?”
“Ummm, yeah, well, I did…but it’s all good now.  Zack mounted Zanna.”
“What? He can’t do that.”
“Oh, yes he can, and he did.  I was an eyewitness.  And they got stuck.”
“What?  Are you sure?  I don’t think Zack can do anything.”
“I am not even gonna repeat it. Zanna’s been violated. Maybe even drugged.” 
And then I can hear him.  He’s giggling.  And then he starts laughing.
And that just pisses me off more.
“When did we get Zack fixed?”  Yup.  Still giggling.
And we figure it out. Two years ago.
And you know what he said to me then?
“Don’t worry baby.  Semen doesn’t have that kind of shelf life.”

Monday, March 21, 2011

Clone Me. Please.

My favorite picture of the weekend!

I woke up at three this morning.  "Write?"  I heard.  It was my evil twin, posing as a little demon, sitting on my shoulder.   I know that my dreams would be sweeter, my sleep more sound, if I could get all this stuff on paper. "You can't write!" it said.

Grrrrrrrr.  Like I'm going to let that little twit get it's way.
I must write.  I pull out the computer, and then...I just can't.  I’ve been feeling like I am unable.  Too many things going down.  Tonight, I promise myself.  Well, tonight is here.  And yeah, I've got lots on my mind, and my heart.

Firstly, little Cameron's death knocked the wind out of all of our sails.  And then, the living- her sweet mommy, and big brother.  How can we best help them breathe, and move forward, yet honor their precious girl?
Sweet Cameron, her mom and brother.
And, then, the earthquake and tsunami in Japan.  The entire situation breaks my heart.  I can't even imagine.  And now the nuclear tragedy.  All of it is horrific.

And then, walking down our own paths, with our sons.  How best to help them get down their own roads?  We start planning our vacation trip to Alaska...knowing that it’s probably the last time our boys will be going with us on vacation, prior to spouses being in the picture.  We know that time's coming soon, and we want to honor them.

And then - NEWSFLASH!  Younger Son announces his engagement.  On Facebook.  If it weren’t so freakin' real, it would be funny!  We knew he was going to ask his sweetie for her hand in marriage, but we weren’t expecting it quite so soon, and certainly not to be announced on the all-encompassing Facebook!  We had to implement some damage control so that all immediate family members would be in the know.  We look back on it now and laugh.  Aren't they cute?  He's always such a twerp when Mamarazzi's around.
I'm getting a daughter-in-love!!!  Yeehah!
These boys of ours are never boring!
So....the upcoming wedding is in early June, and the Alaska trip is in late June.  We’ll be minus one son, and by then, one daughter-in-love - they’ll be on their honeymoon in Montego Bay! We’ll be fishing with our other son in Alaska!  (If I ever finish the plans for the trip, that is!) find a yard person.  And - to finish our remodeling.  (I think I'm drowning in dust from moving walls, sanding, etc.) And - to plan a wedding.  I've booked more photography dates.  And then, to  plan our Alaskan fishing trip.  Oh, yeah - and to meet sweet daughter-in-love’s parents, and soon!  And workie, workie, work!

He's going to be one loved little boy!

Oh....did I tell you our housecleaner is pregnant?  Due on the 30th? 

I love this picture - Casey & Andy are beautiful.
 And our dogwalker?  Pregnant.  Due in 5 weeks.  

It must be the water, or lack thereof, around here.  I told them both they could have off 3 days.  Yeah, right.  They’re our extended families.  They can take off as long as they need.  
Speaking of pregnant lifesavers, I guess you've figured out I was the designated baby bump photographer - this is what I did my last two Saturdays.  Oh, yeah - we love them...and I think I’ll give them both 4.5 days off.  Now, back to my list. 

Martha, Tony & their daughters.

The entire family....for now!
These young ladies are ready for their little brother to arrive!  They were all SooooooSweet!!!
They are so beautiful!

And here we have...the belly comparison!
Speaking of babies, I did take pix of little Kingston and his parents a week ago.  Isn't he a darling?

Okay, enough!  Enough!  

I'm back.  I'll try to post more regularly.

Happy trails to you...until we meet again!

Sunday, March 6, 2011


I am so unsettled this week.  My world has cracked.
Sunday, a week ago, we had winds in excess of 60 mph.  And we’re in a drought in this western part of the country.  Drought + wind + any unknown incident = raging, running, life-taking fires.
Fires that eat up miles and miles, and swallow whole anything that gets in their way.
There was a 7 car pileup on Interstate 20 on Sunday, due to this raging fire, and a life was lost.
A young, beautiful, 5 year old sweet girly-girl - an awesomely gorgeous, precocious, smart young lady.
The same young girl I photographed, along with her big brother, back in November.
I have friends who have lost a child.  It is horrifically sad.  And now, another friend, and yet another child.
I am friends with the little girl’s mom and have known her since she was a wee lass, herself.  I have absolutely nothing to say to her...all I can do is hold her.  There are no words.  
I am absolutely heartbroken.
We all are.

Rest in peace, sweet baby girl.  You are forever loved.